It's done. My baby has moved out and is living in a dorm 1500 miles away. I pass her bedroom when walking down the hall and most of her stuff is still there; it looks like she is just sleeping over at a friend's. But the room is staying neat night after night. In the morning the covers are still somewhat made and there is nobody in the bed. The yellow walls with pink trim belie the happy energy they portray.
The University of Puget Sound welcomed the freshman class with open arms, applause, food, and non-stop icebreakers and mixers. A new student wouldn't have much time to think about home, with finding their way, meeting all the students on the dorm floor, unpacking, setting up their computers and printers and internet connections, getting an ID card to swipe for meals and entry into buildings, finding their mailbox, and a million other getting-settled details. Red brick buildings contrasted with deep hues of green grass and evergreen trees makes a gorgeous campus.
When we arrived, we were directed to a parking lot that was situated across a large grassy field from Mikayla's dorm building. I was thinking that it would be a long way to schlep all her things but as soon as we pulled up, there was a small army of students who opened our car doors and started carrying everything to waiting golf carts. Mikayla's things were loaded and driven to her dorm room, where another group of students shouldered her things to her room. This was a treat!
I noticed several other families in the parking lot. The parents were smiling with pride and all made friendly eye contact in a we-have-something-wonderful-in-common way. The students appeared naive and wide-eyed. As I was taking it all in, I knew that this day would remain bright in my memory. I knew that it was an historical day for Mikayla, a transition point from being a dependent child to a college student on her own.
The week we spent in Tacoma, the Olympic Peninsula, Vancouver Island and Widby Island was a pallet of weather patterns. Some of the days were grey and wet, others were hot and sunshiny. Friday, August 24th, move-in day, was sparkly clear and almost hot. The President of the university commented on how perfect it was in his convocation speech. It was a day any weather maker would be proud to claim.
I felt useful making Mikayla’s bed with her new sheets and comforter and helping her unpack. I know I am going to miss the mundane chores of being a mom.
Mikayla spent the night in the dorm with her dorm mate while we went back to the motel. Without all the extra suitcases, the room seemed large and empty. Mikayla and her dorm mate are “very compatible” as Mikayla put it. They are alike in many ways. Scott and I and Hannah’s parents all feel lucky that the random match put them together.
Mikayla’s room is in the basement, or as the University says, the “Garden View” floor. I heard some of the students referring to it as the dungeon. Whatever it is called, Mikayla, true to herself, is making the best of it. She is not familiar with basements (I have never seen one in San Diego) so it is part of the newness of the whole experience for her. She really doesn’t mind and already has made so many friends on her floor, that that eclipses the view out her window.
The next day, Saturday, the weather reflected the moods of everyone. It was grey, colder and threatened to cry…I mean rain…all day. The students had mandatory activities all day, except for a few breaks. Scott and I made a couple of trips to Target and Safeway to get Mikayla a few last-minute things. I had made reservations the night before at a nice restaurant for dinner. The restaurant was full of families about to say farewell to their students. The atmosphere was not celebratory. It was filled with last minute anxiety. I heard conversations about money and phone calls, mail, email and other details. Mikayla and I shared our usual one main course and one salad. Although the food was probably very good, to me it was tasteless. All I could savor was the last minutes with Mickey.
We drove Mikayla back to the parking lot across the field from her dorm. She was late for a meeting. There were other huddles of families crying and hugging and saying good-bye. The celebratory parking lot was now somber. We all got out of the car to give Mikayla big, long hugs and too many kisses. Scott, Mikayla and I were crying. It was so hard to let her go, there was always one more hug to give her. She pulled herself together and hurried down the path. We watched as she neared her dorm. A young man caught up to her, walked with her and held the door open for her as she disappeared inside. We knew she would be okay.
I will be okay, too. I just have to get used to a different kind of parenting, like I have with Ben. We have planned this for years, that Mikayla would go off to college as she launches into adulthood. But how do I go from parenting in the foreground of a child’s life to taking a step back into the background? It is abrupt. But it is right. I have done it before.
I can’t wait to talk to Mikayla tomorrow!
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