Victoria. Again.

The pilot on the 22-seat plane from Seattle warned the passengers that there were high winds, so inevitably the ride was going to be bumpy. Seeing that the plane was so small, I expected nothing less. He flew the plane low, skewering clumps of clouds. The deep greens of the islands brought color to the otherwise grayscale landscape. The ride was tamer than I expected. I disembarked onto the island that has caused me so many mixed emotions.

People have asked me how I became friends with Mary G., who is the purpose of this trip. She is the mother of my ex-boyfreind from decades ago. When I left him and the island, she and I remained in touch. I see her everytime I come here and we pick up like I have never left. Over the years, Mary has been the only friend on this island with whom I stay in touch. Whenever I would come here to visit my mother, I would always have tea and homemade cake at her house.

Today would be my mother's birthday. I am in Victoria and she is not. Did I ever come here on her birthday? Regrettably, no. She spent almost every birthday alone, yet she never complained. She always was very happy to hear my voice on the phone wishing her a happy birthday. I would always encourage her to make more friends, so she wouldn't be lonely and, I think, to assuage my own guilt for not being here on her birthday. But I think she wasn't lonely. She liked to be alone.

Part of my apprehension of coming here was that I knew that I would be spending a lot of time alone. Mary is weak and needs her rest, so I can't be with her all the time. I have not spent much time in my whole life alone, and it is unfamiliar to me. Being in this motel (more on it later) I am enjoying my time by myself. When Mom was sick, I came up here several times and spent lots of time by myself, in my room, or going for walks. I had forgotten that I really liked it.

Yesterday, Bill, my ex, came over to his mom's when I was there. When she needed a rest, we went out for coffee. This was another reason I have felt apprehensive about coming here. There is still awkwardness between Bill and me. I am not sure why; it has been a lifetime since we lived together. The time we spent together yesterday may have dispelled some of the awkwardness. He visits his mom everyday to help her with shopping, taking her dog out and keeping her company. So I knew that we would be visiting Mary at the same time and I was not looking forward to that uneasiness.

The Robinhood Motel: old, but clean and cheap. And Christian. I don't mean just that there is a bible in the drawer, but there is a framed poster over the TV that says, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son..." blah blah blah. I find that offensive and preachy. I have thought of taking it down, but am just not looking at it. If they are so into their religion, why didn't they ask me mine at the same time they asked me for my address? Why do they think I need to know that they are Christian? Why do they find it necessary to try to convert their guests? Would they prefer to rent only to Christians? If I told them I am not a Christian, would they kick me out?

I read a disturbing article in the paper the other day about a landscape company in Texas that refused to give a bid to a gay couple because of their sexual orientation. Where are the true Christians, who follow Jesus (also known as the Prince of Peace)'s teachings of love thy neighbor? Where does it say to in the bible to be prejudice and judgemental? What does it say about hypocrisy?